I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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