I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
