So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
