This is not my ceiling
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
