I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
