Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
