It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
