My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
