So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
