I just saw a hot homeless man
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
