so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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