i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
