Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
