he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
