I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
