would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
