He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
