Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I deserve this hangover.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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