420 ftw
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
