if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
