i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
