i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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