Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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