I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
