so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
