Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
