just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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