and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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