you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
