toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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