ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
