And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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