My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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