Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
