They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. đŚ
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
His name isnt in my phone as âSatanâs spawnâ for no reason. #devildick
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