I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
