i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
