She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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