i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
