i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
