Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
how does that bad decision feel?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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