dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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