If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
