I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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