Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
