when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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