dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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