You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
