So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
