plz talk dirty to me
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
