i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
