wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
